1. Knife fights over tins of dog food top spectator sport in Britain by December.
2. Having access to lots of lovely consumer debt so I can Get The Economy Working Again by buying a plasma TV for bathroom.
3. UK’s imbeciles wiped out in closing-down-sale-related deaths.
4. VAT decrease brings White Heat of 2.5% savings to british economy, restores empire.
5. Creativity inspired by hobolike existence: beat poetry, one-string guitar and jews harp proficiency reach all time highs.