Alan Greenspan, Dread Sleeper of The Sunken City of R'lyeh, this morning.
1. Knife fights over tins of dog food top spectator sport in Britain by December.
2. Having access to lots of lovely consumer debt so I can Get The Economy Working Again by buying a plasma TV for bathroom.
3. UK’s imbeciles wiped out in closing-down-sale-related deaths.
4. VAT decrease brings White Heat of 2.5% savings to british economy, restores empire.
5. Creativity inspired by hobolike existence: beat poetry, one-string guitar and jews harp proficiency reach all time highs.
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