Flaunting the bicuspid: 4 terms for the new millenium

tn_lower-bicuspid-example1wl1Bicuspid:

Being an activity that is intended to manage the transition between Boom-Town-Gordon-Brown-era premiumised marketing and recessionary, Cthulu Economy-era marketing.  As in “A bicuspidal strategy for 09/10 is to de-emphasise the provenance of our Hertfordshire 28-day Pickled Larks Tongue, while proportionally rightsizing our spend on the Economy Milk lead-content clarification copy.”

Also referred to as  Premolar Repositioning.

250px-david_h__petraeus_2008_2

Playing the Petraeus Card:

Q2 09 Account Direction technique employing scrupulous documentation and blank-faced neutrality in order to imperceptibly distance oneself from the results of a tranche of activity that had previously seemed appropriate but in the current context is a monumental and tragic waste of time, manpower and cash which is only justified due to the amount of said resources already committed.

saprophage

Going Saprophage:

Realignment of target audience expectation based on a realistic assessment of reality in a nation descended into post-apocalytpic cannibal anarchy.  As described in the landmark work “Lower Than A Catfish Belly: How To Swallow Your Pride And Keep Little Alfie In Boarding Fees”.  “Well, that’s that I suppose”, said Piers, sighing “I really wanted to get this out in Conde Naste but fuck it: lets think more saprophagically, put some tits on the bottle and  do a two for one giveaway in the Star”.

monopoly-man1

Flaunting:

The use of colour and or non-fractional space.

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One response to “Flaunting the bicuspid: 4 terms for the new millenium

  1. simonjoeyrobertson

    I’m painfully aware that this is industry-based humour. What have I become?

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